It began with a question—simple, piercing. As she undressed, she asked me, “Do you truly love me? Will you always be there for me?” I brushed it off, saying we’d talk later and urged us to focus on the moment. She grew upset, pulled her blouse back on, and accused me of using her like others had. She tried to leave. I stopped her.
I thought about how many had come before her, how they’d shared their pain in hotel rooms like this. Was this just another fleeting encounter? And yet, I had spent months telling her I loved her, comforting her, drawing her close. Had it all been a spell I cast to get here?
She cried. I held her. She pushed me away. I held her tighter. I wasn’t seeking sex—I was seeking love, attention, safety, someone who would truly listen. But every man before me had taken her to bed. I didn’t want to be one of them. Yet I feared I already was.
She told me she hadn’t had sex with her husband in two years. I assumed she needed it more than I did. I convinced myself she desired me more deeply. Her video calls, her words—they stirred something in me. I was curious, drawn in, wanting to know what it would feel like to be with her.
She had shared her burdens—family issues, emotional pain, the loneliness of her marriage. I had lied to my wife to meet her. She had snuck out from her husband. We met in secret, risking everything. She said all she wanted was to talk, to be close. But I had a plan. I wanted more.
I told her things—promises, declarations—that I now question. Did I mean them? Or were they tools to fulfill my desire? I said I loved her more than my wife. That I’d protect her. That she was my everything. But deep down, I knew I was lying.
Was it love? Lust? Or did lust masquerade as love?
We continued meeting. We enjoyed sex. She began covering all expenses—hotel, food, fuel. She even gave me money, saying it was for my children and wife. She started thinking about my whole family. Now, she uses my sexual desire to keep me close.
She says she can’t live without me. That I’m her world. But I feel trapped. I dread seeing her. I fear her. She emotionally blackmails me, threatens to expose everything to my wife. She wants me to leave my family for her.
This is how affairs unfold. Women believe a man who listens must love them. Men believe a woman who opens up must want sex. Sometimes both are true. Sometimes neither.
But after sex, women expect continued love and care. Men often feel done. The woman’s desire intensifies. The man’s fades. And when lies fuel intimacy, emotional chaos follows.
So I say—be cautious with desire. And to women: if a man awakens deep longing in you, beware. It may not end well.
Foundation for Lasting Relationship 